Speak to me

You know how they say that music speaks to the soul well I think that’s true. From the time I was 13 years old I fell in love with a band called evanescence. The lead singer, Amy Lee, just had a mesmerizing powerful voice that made you feel the lyrics even if they didn’t apply to me , later on in my life when I met him her lyrics started to apply to me. Everyone knew me as the girl that was obsessed with this band but only a few close to me understood why. I looked up to her and I admired her strength way she would explain her lyrics going through a bad relationship several actually and getting her self out of them and saying in her lyrics how they chose other things were more important than her love and one song hit me particularly deep One that she revealed to being in an abusive relationship it’s called “The last song I’m wasting on you” sure she had plenty of other songs that were about finding love being in love in those I would listen to hoping that one day I would feel the way that she feels singing those lyrics.

Whenever I became overwhelmed with my situation I would look to her music to scream with it and feel the pain and let it out –that was my form of release and way keeping my sanity I suppose.

Sometimes, I would think the way that she gathered the strength to leave and meet her husband I would be too it was just a matter of when I would. Evanescence helps me go through my parents divorce my own divorce and feeling like I’m not alone it’s not just the words in the songs it was how they were expressed. Of course I still listen to her now and the band has been on hiatus while she’s been making music for side projects like movies or children’s music. My ex knew how much her music meant as an escape for me then one day as a form of punishment he broke my CDs and at that time cell phones didn’t hold music it was all on an iPod if you had one but I just held onto my CDs and played it on my computer. He even at one point stupid as this sounds bid me from listening to her and avenge sevenfold and it felt so ridiculous to be told what music I can listen to but that was his tactic of getting to me in whatever way he could. When my parents split up the song missing was one that I kept on repeat as a child I thought but I wasn’t being missed and it was easy to walk away from my family start a new life with someone else. (But after many conversations with my parents I got through that)

I’ve been to several of her shows and every time she comes out I almost want to cry because this is a woman who saved my life. Not just a fan I’m grateful to this person. One day I hope to meet her and maybe let her know that through parents divorce along abusive relationship and personal divorce she saved me.

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